


Different coins, same side

by karlamartinova



Category: James Bond (Daniel Craig era), Skyfall - Fandom
Genre: Character Study, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-14
Updated: 2013-04-14
Packaged: 2017-12-08 12:13:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/761189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/karlamartinova/pseuds/karlamartinova
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s easy to see the similarities. It’s easy to make them stand next to each other and count.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Different coins, same side

**Author's Note:**

> Beta-ed by persiflage.

His name slips back to her mind like it never had left, like he never left. But he never really did, he had died because she had allowed them to take him, to punish him for things she had made him do in the first place, and this is her own guilt coming back at her. It’s not a surprise, not in the slightest, M had waited for a long time for the past to come back and haunt her. She just hadn’t count on it coming in his form.

Tiago Rodriguez was only 17 when he was recruited; orphan starving in the streets of Barcelona. They had saved him, given him a new life with a new purpose and he had repaid them by being brilliant and ruthless, and without any fear. She had just started her posting in Hong Kong when they assigned him to her. Too young for double-0 status, he was a Q13 with too many wonderful talents and she had liked to use them for the good of Queen and the Country.

He was a hit man, a hacker, charming enough to get all the information she had needed and he was beyond good at the job, but there was something about him that made all the hair at the back of her neck stand up as soon as he entered the room she was occupying. “Ma’am,” he would say and bow, and use the most charming smile and her heart would speed up. She would ignore it though, made him stand while she talked about the next mission.

And he had never disappointed her. And that had been the only reason she assigned him most of the tasks, not any silly rumour that spread like a wild fire, and which he never denied when asked directly. She had known that, had known that Tiago Rodriguez was too proud, too ambitious, and at that time she had thought that’s all that was.

She was proven wrong when she had found him in her house one night. “What the hell are you doing here?” she had asked him with her heart in her throat. She had stood proud and strong in front of his smug face, but she had felt small, so incredibly small. Her daughters and her husband were asleep, but she had only come home a few minutes before, and he, obviously, had followed.

“I thought I'd drop by for a visit, so we could get to know each other better.” His words, spoken casually, made her blood boil. Already then, she had known that letting him know his importance, his abilities, was a very dangerous mistake. And she had held her ground, calming her heart, icing her words. She had known that she needed to deal with him once, only once, showing him where his place was, like a stray dog he had followed his master hoping for a reward.

“I do not need to know you better, Q13. You've overstepped the boundaries and this could have serious repercussions. Now, leave my house.” She had turned her back on him then, holding her breath for a few seconds, then leaving the room altogether. Soon after she had heard the door closing behind him, and only then she had allowed herself to breath.

She had thought it was the end, but on the contrary, it was just the beginning.

“Some young man brought you this.” Her husband had told her one morning passing her a package. “He said you would know who he is when you opened it.” He had tried to sound casual, that it meant nothing and she was sure he didn't intend to leave the room until he had seen what was in the parcel. She had known then already. She didn’t have to open it to see an extremely expensive piece of jewellery from a well-known jeweller she had him kill just a few weeks ago for his ties with Turkish gun businessmen. She had seen it on his face, on his reaction to this “young man”. 

Tiago Rodriguez had given it to him on purpose, to stake a claim, and she had understood it was all a game for him. 

She had punished him for it, sent him on a six week long monitoring of a supposedly secret hideout, but she had to call him back after because there wasn’t anyone else with his qualities. And the game was on for both of them. He kept pushing the boundaries, showing up at places where she was spending time with her family, sending her gifts, letters.

She could have reported him, have had him arrested for insubordination, but her position wasn’t as strong then. There were too many men who wanted her out of MI6, who thought that a woman and a mother shouldn’t be on the top. It was one of the reasons they had reassigned her husband to Hong Kong too, made him think he was the reason his family was moving to a different continent. She had been just a wife, someone who should follow, not lead, but she had been a double-0 agent, one who'd survived and been promoted instead of killed. And they simply couldn’t overlook it.

So when the Chinese wanted to make the deal, she had seen a chance to solve this particular problem as well. She had known that he operated outside of his orders; it was just his way of trying to impress her, to show her how much she needed him. And maybe she was secretly impressed, understood that she simply can’t get rid of an agent with so much potential. 

When they had wanted his head, she had agreed.

  
.

It’s easy to see the similarities. It’s easy to make them stand next to each other and count. Arrogance, capability, selfishness, they were both orphans, both perfect killing machines, both too proud to simply follow the rules. 

M remembers the first time she met James Bond, he had reminded of Tiago Rodriguez straight away, the way he looked at her, the way he had wanted to prove something to her without her realizing it. And only now she realizes why she kept putting his promotion off for such a long time.

“He’s dangerous and reckless,” she had argued at the committee. But the man opposite her only smiled. “Isn’t that the most important quality in an agent?” That fight had been lost then, but she never let him know how important he was, how capable, and how his results more often than not brought exactly what they needed. 

But unlike Rodriguez, Bond hadn’t become more smug, yes, he knew his worth, but it also meant he kept trying harder, trying to prove to the whole world that no matter how many times she belittled him, he would continue to be the best double-0 agent MI6 ever had. After that, it was difficult not to be impressed. But then he made the mistake of showing up at her house and M was once again reminded of Tiago.

Too careful to trust him, she had ordered “the bloody shot”. But he came back, came back to fight an invisible enemy who knew more about them than anyone else. It was the sign she had needed, the moment M decided that Bond and Rodriguez weren’t from the same seed.

It didn’t however help her to deal with all her past mistakes, it only emphasized them, put them on a red paper to scream at her every time she let herself close her eyes. They were coming back at her now with a face of a man she had sent to death, and another one is risking his life to stop him.

She should be surprised by it, shouldn’t expect him to take the weight of the world upon his shoulders, to help her take the blame that is entirely hers. But he does, James Bond runs and fights, he sees clues and secrets just because she needs him to. It’s an untold assignment, one that never came on paper. He suddenly understands many things after she tells him about Tiago, M can see it on his face.

She thinks it’s the time he makes the decision. Tiago Rodriguez had her trust, but instead of cherishing it, he had tried to change it, to use it, to become a different man. But Bond came back from the dead to be someone she needed. She’s thankful, incredibly so, and as they wait for fate to get her, she can’t help but wonder. 

“I have made mistakes, decisions that cost people their lives. I destroyed lives, yours too, and yet you came back. Why?” It’s the questions that had been burning the tip of her tongue ever since she flicked on the switch and saw him leaning on the wall in her dining room. She hated when her agents disrupted her privacy, when they thought they could, but seeing him there, alive, something inside her changed, and she blames that change for the bravery to ask this question.

Bond smiles. A small sad smile that shows all his wrinkles and scars, and she could read the story of his life in his eyes. “Because I am nothing like him.” He speaks with understanding and forgiveness. And M knows that even though her life is about the end, she has something that could make it easier. She really did get one thing right.


End file.
